Send Me A Song
by Loridhhp
Summary: Post Thaw. Elsa visits her parents memorial markers to reflect on her unresolved grief. She discovers that a mother's love can be heard like a song on the wind if you just listen. Of course it helps to have her sister's comfort to help her heal. Original cover art in pastel by me.


**Here's my latest inspiration based upon a song. Listen to "Send Me A Song" by Celtic Woman on youtube while reading this, especially when the queen is singing to the girls and when Elsa sings near the end. You will understand why I picked it. Please leave a review and let me know if I've moved you and if you liked this. I try to write stories that may be angsty, but are always about healing through love. **

**Frozen**

**Send Me A Song**

The setting sun glistened on the waters around Arendelle, its glow casting hues of orange, gold and pink on the lush landscape. The fjords stood tall and majestic, a silent witness to the lone figure slowly making its way across the waving grasses of the hill above town. A warm breeze caressed the tall grass, carrying the scent of the wildflowers that painted the landscape with abundant color.

The figure walked slowly and deliberately, a long hooded cloak shrouding its features. At the crest of the hill stood two seven-foot-tall monument stones equidistant from the setting sun. Careful placement of the stone markers ensured that whoever viewed them during that particular time of year would have that special moment. The stones were placed years ago by King Agdar of Arendelle as a wedding gift for his new queen. He had wanted them both to be laid to rest under the monuments together, with the setting sun to remind all who visited their final resting place of the bond they shared.

Two pale hands lifted the hood from the cloak revealing the new queen of Arendelle, Queen Elsa. The queen sighed, squinting her ice blue eyes at the sinking sun between the stones. It was ironic that her father had chosen this very spot overlooking his kingdom with the sun setting over the water, the water that became the final resting place for the former king and queen of Arendelle. There was no one buried beneath those stones. The sea had seen to that.

Elsa had dressed herself not in an ice gown of her own creation, but a simple bunad-style dress she'd taken from her mother's wardrobe. It was an old dress that her mother, Queen Idunn had worn when Elsa was a child. She'd wanted to conceal herself in order to sneak out of the castle without a royal escort. She'd wanted to be alone for once. Life had been so busy since her coronation and subsequent freezing of her kingdom when the ice powers she'd fought so hard to control were exposed. Now she just wanted a little time to herself, time to breathe, time to heal.

Closing her eyes to the waning sun, Elsa took a deep breath, feeling the warmth on her face and the gentle breeze on her cheeks. She was alone and free to just ...be. She reached down to the end of the plaited hair that hung over her left shoulder and began to undo it. When she was finished, she raked her fingers through her now loose waves of thick platinum hair and allowed them to cascade down her back. A small smile lifted the corners of her mouth as she felt the breeze caressing her hair like the gentle touch she remembered from long ago.

_"Mama, why do you have to go away?" Five-year old Elsa sat on the window seat gazing out at the calm waters of Arendelle Harbor. She was dressed for bed as Queen Idunn brushed her daughter's silky platinum tresses._

_"Papa and I have to meet with some important people far away," the queen replied, smoothing down the waves created by the single braid._

_"How come me and Anna can't go with you?" Elsa inquired with a small pout._

_"Anna and I," corrected the queen, giving her daughter a smile. "You're never too young to learn to speak properly. After all, you are a princess."_

_"Sorry, Mama," Elsa responded, her eyes downcast. "So why can't we go with you?"_

_"A big ship is no place for two little girls," Queen Idunn stated calmly, "especially your little sister. Anna can't sit still for a moment and I'd be afraid that if I looked away for a second she'd fall overboard!"_

_"But I could watch her," Elsa offered, her eyes brightening with hope._

_"I'm sorry, Elsa, but you and Anna will be staying here with your nannies and the rest of the staff," Queen Idunn sighed, placing the brush down next to her as she sat on the window seat. She opened her arms and Elsa climbed into them. "It's only for a few days. Papa and I will be home before you know it."_

_"Mama," a tiny voice called out softly. The queen turned to see her younger daughter climb out of her cradle, clutching a small blanket and rubbing her sleepy eyes. Two-year old Anna clumsily made her way over to where her mama was sitting. The toddler tried to climb up in her mama's lap but was prevented from doing so._

_"Oh dear," Queen Idunn gasped as she patted her little girl's bottom, "you're wet already? No more drinks before bedtime for you," she said with a chuckle. "Come, my sweet, let's get you changed. Nanny Hilda has retired for the evening. You've worn her out, little one. Even Nannies need their rest. Mama will clean you up, sleepy girl."_

_Elsa watched as her mother changed her little sister's diaper. The queen then sat down in the rocking chair near the window, a sleepy Anna snuggled into her shoulder with her thumb in her mouth and her blanket tucked under her arm. The queen rocked and stroked her little one's tangled mess of strawberry blonde hair. She opened her arm to invite her firstborn onto her lap. Elsa climbed up and settled in the nook of her mama's free arm._

_Queen Idunn began to sing softly to her daughters, her melodic voice soothing and comforting Elsa in a way nothing else ever could. The lullaby was so sweet and pure that it brought tears to the little girl's eyes. Elsa tried to sniff them back, but they managed to cascade down her flushed cheeks. She buried her tear stained face in her mother's breast, the soft fabric of the dress filled with the soothing scent of her mama. She could feel her mama caressing her hair gently and placing kisses to the top of her head._

_"I don't want you to go," Elsa lamented, her quivering voice muffled against her mother. "Who will sing to us at bedtime?"_

_The queen noticed that the temperature of the room had dropped and flurries of snow drifted in the air around them. Anna shivered slightly and the queen wrapped the child's blanket around her. Anna yawned and fell back to sleep. She gazed down at Elsa and brushed the tears from her little girl's face._

_"Don't cry, my angel," the queen consoled. "I will always be with you, even when you can't see me. All you have to do is look out to the sea and close your eyes and send me a song. I will hear it and, if you listen carefully, you will hear me sing to you. I will be in the breeze that kisses your cheeks each night. And if you sing back to me I will hear it as well. So when you're missing me so, my little one, just send me a song and I will be with you."_

Elsa opened her eyes and sighed. She could feel wetness on her cheeks, strands of platinum hair clinging to her face. She brushed them away and wiped her tears with her finger tips. It was a futile attempt of course, as the tears continued to flow unimpeded down her cheeks. _Feel it. Don't hold it back anymore. It's ok._

Elsa had to mentally talk herself into allowing herself to express the emotions she'd fought most of her life to suppress. It was still so hard. Most days she was busy with her duties as queen, but other days it was torture. Even though she tried so hard to allow Anna in and confide in her, she still found it difficult letting her emotions free. She had grown so accustomed to stoicism and keeping the regal bearing taught to her since early childhood that it felt unnatural to express her emotions so freely, especially in public. Unlike Anna, who seemed to wear her heart on her sleeve and could run the gamut of emotions within a single, at times exhausting conversation, Elsa still felt compelled to hide. It didn't seem to matter that now she knew how to thaw her surroundings. Concealing her emotions seemed to be ingrained in every fiber of her being and a very difficult habit to break.

As she watched the sun sink to the horizon, Elsa thought about all the times her mother had sung to her when there were no other words to say. Even when she had refused to allow anyone in her room, she would sit on the floor, her back against the door as she listened to her mother's soothing voice singing softly from just outside. Sometimes she thought she could hear her mother's voice catch from emotion. _Was Mama crying too? Did she regret giving birth to a monster? Did she blame me for freezing Anna? No! I...I'm not a monster! Mama and Papa loved me. They just didn't want me to hurt anyone else._

Elsa could feel a lump forming in her throat as she nervously raked her fingers through her thick hair. She had fought so hard to control her powers, only becoming more and more anxious at not being able to. And then that anxiety turned to anger and self loathing and ultimately fear. Elsa desperately wanted to be accepted for who she was, to be loved and not feared because of her dangerous magical powers. That need to be loved and accepted clawed at her fragile psyche, but the fear was too powerful and so she closed herself off to everyone, including Anna.

_Elsa curtsied before her parents as they descended the grand staircase to the entrance hall. Two large trunks were waiting to be loaded into the carriage that would carry her parents to the dock for their latest boat trip._

_"Do you have to go?" Elsa inquired, her blue eyes growing large with trepidation._

_"You'll be fine, Elsa," King Agdar assured, giving his daughter a comforting smile._

_Queen Idunn gave her daughter a small smile, knowing how much Elsa disliked when they went away. She tried to grasp Elsa's gloved hands in her own, but the now grown young woman pulled away from her touch. She smiled sadly at her daughter and brushed a lock of platinum blonde hair from Elsa's cheek._

_"Just remember sweetheart, when you feel lost and alone just think of me and I'll be there," Queen Idunn reassured her. "Listen to the wind that blows over the water and you'll hear me singing to you. These two weeks will past quickly, I promise. I will be listening too. As the wind swells the sails of our ship, know that I will hear your voice singing back to me. Let the song calm you, my angel. You'll be fine and I'll always be here."_

_The queen pointed a slender finger at Elsa's heart, causing Elsa to well up with emotion. She could feel the ice forming within her as she fought back the tears that threatened to spill over onto her face. She quickly bid her parents farewell and a safe journey and rushed upstairs to the safety of her chambers._

_Elsa would listen each night to the song she just knew her mother was singing just for her. A week later the song stopped. Her parents were lost at sea during a storm. They would never be coming home. Elsa was so devastated that she couldn't control her emotions. She couldn't even attend the memorial service with Anna for fear of exposing her powers in public. Elsa was so grief-stricken that her room stayed frozen for weeks and the singing stopped. There was no lilting song on the cold winds and Elsa stopped singing to the sea, giving up all hope of ever getting her song in return._

Elsa listened to the breeze that softly ruffled her hair. She closed her eyes once more, imagining the cool breeze was her mother caressing her hair and comforting her as she did so long ago. All the grief she'd never allowed herself to feel filled her entire being causing her to tremble. So caught up was she in the moment of just feeling that Elsa didn't notice someone silently approach her and stand next to her. Without opening her eyes, she instinctively knew who it was, who would be worried enough to come looking for her.

"I...I can hear her," Elsa mumered, a small smile creeping across her features.

"Hear who?" Anna replied, not wanting to break the moment her sister was having.

"Mama," Elsa simply stated. "Listen. Can you hear her singing?"

"I...uh...I want to," Anna replied, biting her lower lip. She knew better now than to disturb her sister when she was lost in an emotional moment. She'd ruined it so many times by trying to push Elsa into talking about what was bothering her only to have her sister withdraw into herself and shut down.

"I haven't been able to hear Mama sing since..." Elsa opened her eyes as the sun set the water on fire with sparkling diamonds of orange and yellow. The sky was a canvas of pink, crimson and purple clouds. She gasped at the beauty; so overwhelmed by emotion that she thought her heart would burst. And then the tears came, coursing down her face in rivers, yet she didn't feel the grief she thought she would. She felt such love, such joy she couldn't describe if she had to. Her parents weren't gone. They were right here and always would be.

Elsa returned the song, her clear beautiful voice raising to the heavens. She sang the ballad her mother used to sing to her. With each note she could feel the release of her trapped emotions. The tears that soaked her face, dripping from her trembling lower jaw, were tears of cleansing and letting go. She could hear her mother singing with her as she always had and let that loving energy embrace her and remove the fears that still haunted her.

Elsa closed her eyes once again allowing herself to just feel. She stopped singing and just listened. She heard sniffling coming from next to her and she smiled wrapping her arm around Anna's shoulder and drawing her close. The two sisters said nothing for a long time, each lost in her own thoughts. Elsa felt Anna wrap her arm around her shoulder, as they stood there in the waning light of dusk, neither sister wanting to move or break the moment.

"I...I heard her," Anna said finally, as she brought a hand up to wipe the tears from her face. "I miss the way Mama would sing to us. Elsa...you...you sang Mama's song so beautifully. I didn't know you could sing like that! I mean that was...that was...um...you made me cry! Not that that's hard or anything, cause everyone says I can cry at the drop of a hat, whatever that means. I mean...I just...Ugh! I'm babbling again. I'm sorry. I always seem to ruin the moment. I just wanted to..."

"Anna..."

"I mean...I don't want to push you and make you feel bad about yourself and you go run away up to the North Mountain again and..."

"Anna..."

"Are...are you ok?" Anna finished, wringing her hands together nervously and cringing somewhat at her own awkwardness even now.

Elsa smiled and tightened her grip on her sister's shoulder, giving her a squeeze. When Anna let out a surprised squeak, she laughed and kissed her sister on the cheek.

"I'm fine," Elsa replied, not even bothering to wipe her tear-stained face. "I guess we should head back. It's almost dark."

Anna trotted over to fetch the lantern she'd brought from her horse. She lit it and looked around. "Did you walk all the way up here?" When Elsa nodded, she handed her sister the lantern and mounted her horse. She took the lantern as Elsa climbed up behind her on the saddle and wrapped her arms around Anna's waist.

"Anna?" Elsa called out softly. "You didn't ruin the moment. I'm...I'm glad you came after me. I got to share that with you without feeling awkward. So...thank you."

"You're welcome," Anna whispered, too choked up to say any more.

Elsa could hear the sniffling again. She shook her head and smiled, giving her sister a squeeze. When Anna broke down in loud sobs, Elsa leaned against Anna's back, her whole body shaking from her quiet giggles.

"I love you too," Elsa chuckled, clinging to the most important person in her life, her sister and best friend.


End file.
